The Shattering
by BalthierFan6828
Summary: Balthier goes missing, and when he shows back up he can't remember who he is or what happened to him. As Basch helps him find answers, he finds out things for himself that he never knew. Balthier/Basch pairing.
1. Illusion of the Past

**Ok, so my new job has been killing me so I haven't had a lot of updating time, but I've really wanted to write a new fic. This is a Balthier/Basch fic also has Penelo/Vaan hints and No actual love for Fran or Ashe, but who knows what will happen. This is a "Who Are You? And Who Am I?" spinoff of sorts. Another of my typical "Balthier is hurt and has no idea who he is" fics…I do that a lot. Please enjoy and review.**

**The Shattering**

**Chapter 1: Illusion of the Past**

It wasn't that Basch was stalling, well maybe he was a little, but things just hadn't been the same since the night three weeks ago when Balthier had disappeared in the middle of the night, leaving his partner Fran and the rest of his companions aboard his precious airship. Everyone had been unsettled since then, they all knew that Balthier would never leave his ship behind willingly…but there had been no signs of struggle, and the Strahl had even been locked up tight. He had simply failed to show up for breakfast the next morning, and then lunch…it was after dinner by the time they finally even noticed that his room was empty. Balthier liked his privacy, and often stayed in his room alone when he was tired or angry. They had no reason to believe he was in trouble, so they just continued on their way, wondering and waiting to see if he would come back. Besides, they wouldn't have known where to look for him anyway.

It had upset Fran, obviously, and Basch thought that maybe she felt abandoned by the whole thing. They didn't talk about it much; no one really knew what to say. If Balthier didn't want to help them…he didn't have to. Basch was unnerved by the whole thing, but he and the pirate were not particularly close. No one was really close to Balthier, with the exception of Fran, and even she didn't seem to have his unconditional trust and love.

He paused in the marketplace, only half inspecting the various potions and supplies he was buying. He wasn't in a hurry to return to the Strahl, it seemed…empty now. Honestly, they had all assumed that the pirate would be back in a day or so…but day after day went by…then week after week…and still there was no sign of, and no word from Balthier.

Basch sighed and paid for his supplies, there was no use stalling anymore, he'd have to return to the Strahl and his gloomy companions sooner or later. He tensed, the hairs on the back of his neck tingling in a way that told him someone was watching him, and he let one gloved hand rest instinctively on the hilt of his sword as he gazed around the marketplace. He had almost relaxed when his eyes met with Balthier's. Or at least he thought it was Balthier… The man who stared back at him certainly looked like the pirate, but gone was the swagger and confidence that made Balthier who he was. Gone was the beautifully embroidered vest and perfectly groomed hair, both of which he had never seen Balthier without…even after the most gruesome of battles. His eyes had dulled in a way, and he looked…scared. Scared and empty. The look in his eyes made Basch wonder if he even recognized him. He approached him slowly, as if he were approaching a child or scared animal…not Balthier the infamous sky pirate.

"Balthier? Are…are you…ok?" he stammered, unsure for a moment if it even was Balthier he was addressing.

The pirate stared at him blankly, his eyes occasionally darting nervously from side to side, "You…you know me?"

Basch's mouth fell open, "Of course I know you."

Balthier took a step towards him, "You have to help me."

Basch laid a hand on the pirate's arm, which tensed at his touch, "What do you need? Let's get you back to the Strahl."

"The Strahl?"

Basch frowned, "Come on. I'll help you…don't worry."

Balthier seemed to consider his options, and finally nodded his consent. He let Basch lead him by the arm, and the knight now noticed that the pirate was filthy and shaking noticeably.

"Are you injured?" he asked him, eyeing him warily.

Balthier looked at him blankly, "I…I'm not sure."

Basch frowned. The man before him was Balthier…but at the same time it wasn't. Balthier was never scared or timid, never dishelved and dirty. This man was all of those things. It was like someone was using the pirate's body, but had replaced his mind and soul of that with another.

"We're friends?" Balthier asked suddenly.

Basch shrugged, "Yes, I suppose you could call us that."

Balthier nodded, "What is your name?"

Basch nearly fell over, "My name?"

"I…I can't seem to recall it."

"Basch…my name is Basch."

Balthier nodded, but gave no indication that he found the name to be familiar.

"What's happened to you Balthier?" Basch asked his voice heavy with concern.

Balthier stopped and stared at him, "I…I don't know."

_To Be Continued…_

**Hope you enjoyed…This one is going to be a lot like "Who Are You? And Who Am I?" I know that's probably lame to rehash an idea, but I loved that story so much…it was really fun to write, but don't worry this one will have a shit ton of differences as far as the plot and characters go. The only thing that will be the same is that Balthier has lost his memory and therefore is a different person. Thanks for reading…and PLEASE review.**


	2. Cold, Dark Eyes

**And…we're…back. I should write chapter 18 of "The Edge of Forever" before updating this one, but…oh well. Hope you enjoy, and please review!**

**The Shattering**

**Chapter 2: Cold, Dark Eyes**

Balthier glanced around the interior of the Strahl as if he'd never seen the ship before in his life, "This is…mine?" he asked finally, his voice somehow smaller sounding.

Basch sighed, "Yes Balthier, the Strahl is your pride and joy."

Balthier nodded, his eyes wide, "I like it."

Basch shook his head, "Sit down, let's see if you're hurt. I'm not sure where the others have run off to."

Balthier sat down, "The others?"

"I'll explain later," grumbled Basch as he knelt in front of him, "Right now I need _you_ to do some explaining."

"Explaining?"

Basch's head was beginning to throb, "I need you to tell me what happened to you."

Balthier glanced around nervously, "I can't remember."

"What's the last thing you _do_ remember?" Basch pressed, "What's the last memory you have before not knowing?"

Balthier sighed, "I don't know…home maybe."

Basch looked up at him warily, "Home?"

Balthier nodded, "I…I think so. It's all just so blurry."

Basch frowned and began to unbutton the pirate's white shirt, which was ripped, filthy, and a little bloody, "Tell me about it."

"Tell you about what?"

"Home," said Basch as he gently pulled the pirate's shirt off and tossed it aside, "Tell me about where you come from."

Balthier hesitated, "I'm not sure. It's just a feeling really."

"Focus," urged Basch, "Focus and tell me what you remember."

Balthier shook his head, "Eyes…cold…dark eyes. Empty eyes…staring back at me."

Basch frowned, "That isn't much to go on."

"It's all I can remember. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," said Basch, "You don't seem to be injured…you should get cleaned up though. I don't think I've ever seen you this dirty."

Balthier nodded and Basch realized he had to show him where the shower even was. The timid shell of a pirate followed him slowly, stopping constantly to ask what something was or where something had come from.

"Just let me know if you need anything," said Basch as he pushed open the door to the bathroom, "I'll bring you some clean clothes."

Balthier hesitated, as if he were afraid to enter the room, "Will you stay?" he asked suddenly, and Basch thought he heard a hint of fear in his voice.

He sighed, "I guess…if that's what you really want…"

Balthier nodded and Basch faced the opposite direction until he heard the glass door of the shower clink shut. He wasn't sure what had happened to Balthier, and seeing the pirate so unlike himself was unnerving.

"Basch?" he heard the other call over the sound of the spraying water.

"What is it Balthier?"

"What happened to me?"

"I have no idea," said Basch, "I need you to tell me that remember?"

The shower door opened a tiny crack, and Balthier peered out, "No…I mean…before."

Basch stared at him blankly, "What are you talking about?"

Balthier turned off the water as Basch threw him a towel, "These scars…they're old…there are a lot of them."

Basch took a step towards him, and noticed that yes, the pirate's chest was covered with horrible looking scars, "I don't know Balthier. You've always kept your life a very private thing. Or at least you have as long as I've known you."

Balthier frowned and nodded, "So the things I can't remember…there probably isn't anyone who knows that stuff…that could remind me?"

Basch shook his head, "I'm sorry…We'll figure something out though. Don't worry."

Balthier didn't say anything for a long while as Basch led him to his room and grabbed him some clothes. He was surprised when Balthier passed up his customary vest, choosing instead to leave his white shirt untucked and partially unbuttoned. He also did not bother to gel his hair or to put on the jewelry that Basch had never seen him without.

"You should probably rest," Basch offered, "We'll figure out something when the others get back. They'll be glad to see you are…safe."

Balthier sat down on his bed and drew his knees up under his chin, "Do you know how old I am?" he asked suddenly.

Basch pulled a chair over from the desk and sat down in front of him, "No. I don't."

"What about my full name?"

Basch shook his head, "I've never heard you called anything other than Balthier. Balthier the sky pirate."

Balthier seemed shocked, "I'm a sky pirate?"

Basch nodded sadly, "You really don't remember anything do you?"

"I was born the moment I walked out of that alley and saw you standing there. Before that there was nothing but darkness," said Balthier, and Basch could understand why the pirate was so afraid.

"You need to sleep," said Basch, he didn't know what else to say. He got up and turned towards the door to leave.

"Please don't go."

Balthier's voice was too scared and small, and Basch closed his eyes, not knowing what to do.

"You want me to stay here?" he asked finally.

Balthier nodded, "I…I just don't want to be alone."

Basch sighed and sat down on the bed, "I'll stay until you fall asleep, but don't panic when you wake up…I won't be far."

Balthier laid down reluctantly, "Thank you."

Basch forced a smile to his lips, he didn't know what to say to make the other feel better, but he didn't have to say anything…Balthier was already asleep…clutching desperately to Basch's hand…

_To Be Continued…_

**Hope you enjoyed! Please review!**


	3. Questions Without Answers

**Woot woot! Welcome to chapter 3, I do hope you are enjoying. Please review.**

**The Shattering**

**Chapter 3: Questions without Answers**

"Balthier's back," Basch muttered as the others entered the main room of the Strahl.

His four companions stopped in their tracks, arms full of shopping bags.

"What?" asked Vaan, "What the hell do you mean he's back?"

Basch didn't look up, "Just what I said. He's back."

"Did he say where he's been?" asked Ashe, the irritation clear in her voice.

Basch sighed, "Well…we may have a little problem with that."

"What kind of a problem?" asked Vaan, eyeing him warily, "He didn't get into some sort of trouble did he?"

Basch shrugged, "Follow me, I think you'll just have to see this for yourself."

He led them to Balthier's room and gently knocked on the door, "Balthier? The others are back…I thought you might like to see them."

No one answered, and Basch was just about to knock again when the door cracked open slowly, "Basch? Is…is that you?"

Basch frowned, "Yes Balthier, it's me. Now open the door."

The door opened, and Balthier, who looked as if he were terrified of them all, took a giant step backwards. Basch entered the room first, and sat down on the bed. He was exhausted, and more than a little annoyed by their current situation. Balthier sat down in the floor next to Basch's left leg, as if he were counting on the knight to act as some sort of protective shield.

"Where the hell have you been?" demanded Ashe, "We were starting to think you weren't coming back. And a little head's up would have been nice! How could you just leave in the middle of the night without saying a word!"

Balthier shied away from her yelling, wrapping an arm tightly around Basch's leg as if it were a security blanket, "I'm sorry," he said, "I…I don't know what else to say."

Ashe narrowed her eyes at the scene before her, "What happened to you?" she asked, her voice now filled with concern instead of anger.

Balthier glanced up at Basch, as if he were expecting him to answer for him. When Basch only returned his stare silently, he turned back to Ashe, "I don't know. I can't remember."

Fran stepped forward and knelt down beside him, "You don't remember leaving here?"

Balthier shook his head.

"What _do_ you remember?" she pressed.

"I remember, waking up in an alley," he stammered, "and then seeing Basch in the marketplace."

"You said something about eyes," said Basch, "Tell her about the eyes."

Balthier tensed visibly, "I remember eyes staring back at me…cold, empty eyes…" he put his head in his hands and started to shake before continuing in a language none of them understood, "Τα σκοτεινά μάτια… που μάτια… που άψυχα έκαναν αου έκ… αυτά πήραν όλα…"**

"Balthier focus," said Fran sternly.

Balthier continued to ramble, "Τα σκοτεινά μάτια…"

Fran cut him off, "Balthier! In English please!"

Balthier looked up at her, "Empty eyes…they did this…"

No one said anything.

Balthier shrank back as far against the bed as he could, his grip tightening on Basch's leg, "Who are you?" he asked quietly.

"You mean to say you don't recognize them at all?" asked Basch, "You recognized me…well…sort of anyway."

Balthier shook his head, "I'm sorry…I…I just don't remember. I'm sorry."

He looked genuinely sorry, and Basch knew that he desperately wanted to remember.

"Do any of you know me well?" he asked, "I have so many questions…"

Fran ran her long, slender fingers through his hair, "I know more than the others…but I'm afraid you have always been somewhat of a mystery."

Balthier's expression fell, "Tell me everything you know…please. Do you know how old I am? Where I'm from? Do I have a family?"

Fran smiled half-heartedly, "I can't answer all of those questions, but I can tell you that you are 22 years old, although the day or month of your birth is unknown to me. I do not know where you are from, but when we first met…nearly six years ago now, it seemed to me you had the accent of an Archadian. Is any of this ringing any bells?"

Balthier shook his head, "No, nothing so far. What about my family?"

Fran shook her head sadly, "You have always refused to speak of them…"

"So I'm all alone in the world."

"No," interrupted Vaan, "You have us."

Balthier smiled sadly, "Thank you."

"I am sure you will remember in time," offered Fran, "But for now, let's refresh your memory."

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet, "Come," she said, "It is time for you to fly."

Basch wasn't sure why he was surprised when Balthier's fingers didn't falter in the least as he took the controls of the Strahl in his hands. The pirate even looked a little like his old self again, perhaps because deep down inside he had confidence in what he was doing. Flying was something he could never forget how to do. He wasn't sure if the others could see Balthier the way he saw him in that moment, but somehow Basch was seeing something in the pirate that his old ego and swagger had covered up, he wasn't sure what it was…but it triggered a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he'd never felt before.

_To Be Continued…_

****I know, slow paced yet again…but just stay tuned. Hope you are enjoying. Balthier's other language is actually Greek, and he actually says "Dark eyes...soulless eyes...they did this to me...they took everything..." Please review…it makes me update faster.**


	4. The Places of my Dreams

**Another update so soon? I must love you guys…hope you enjoy.**

**The Shattering**

**Chapter 4: The Places of my Dreams**

Balthier soon found that he could still read, write, cook, load a gun, and repair the Strahl with no problems whatsoever. And once he was told something, he didn't forget it. He had managed to relearn not only the names of his companions, but enough about each one of them that things weren't quite as awkward as they had been the day Basch had brought him back to the Strahl. But they were just things he had learned…he still could not honestly remember these things from before. He wasn't the only one who was puzzled by the fact that he had been able to recognize Basch, or at least recognize the fact that he had known him at some point, when he had looked at Fran and the others as if he'd never seen any of them before in his life.

He made a point not to get too far from Basch; there was something about the blonde man he remembered, though he couldn't put his finger on it. Since Basch was the only familiar thing aboard the Strahl to him, he felt better when he was near. Basch didn't seem to mind this too much, but Fran obviously did. She was not at all comfortable with the fact that her partner couldn't remember her. She constantly told him stories about their past together, telling him tale after tale about stealing different treasures, fighting different strange monsters, and being chased by countless bounty hunters…but Balthier couldn't remember any of it. As for Vaan, Ashe, and Penelo, it seemed to Balthier that they subconsciously steered clear of him. They weren't sure how to deal with "the new" Balthier, and it made them uncomfortable, which only made the pirate cling closer to Basch.

He sat in his room, rummaging through his desk for the millionth time, looking for anything that told him a little more about his past, but there just didn't seem to be anything. He picked up object after object, trying in vain to remember where it had come from. He sat now, examining his colorful rings. Where had these come from? Someone special? Or perhaps they were only decoration, and didn't really mean anything.

"Feeling ok?"

Basch's voice jarred him out of his thoughts.

"I feel fine," sighed Balthier, "I just…I don't know."

"I'm sorry we haven't been able to help you figure out more about your past," said Basch, "I know you're upset about that."

"It's hard to explain," said Balthier, "Waking up and having no idea who you are. I don't know what kinds of foods I like or don't like, or have any memories of growing up…having friends…being in love. All I have is a big black void in my mind."

"I'm sure it will all come back in time," said Basch.

"What if it doesn't? When this is all over, the war I mean, you guys will all go back to your lives. What will I do then? I don't have anything to go back to if I never remember."

Basch glanced down at his feet, "I don't really have anything to go back to either."

Balthier didn't know what to say, so he put his hand on Basch's arm, "Were we…close? Before I mean."

Basch smiled sadly, "Not particularly."

"You didn't like me?"

Basch chuckled, "I didn't say that. You like to keep to yourself for the most part…or did anyway."

"It's lonely being alone when you have no memories, I don't feel like a real person," said Balthier sadly.

Basch hadn't noticed that Balthier's hand had slid down on top of his own, and he unconsciously turned his hand over so that their fingers intertwined, "We'll find out who you are Balthier. Don't worry," he used his free hand to lift Balthier's chin so that their eyes met, "And you're a real person to me."

Balthier gazed into his eyes, "Am I?"

Basch nodded and pulled the pirate in close, so that their foreheads rested against each other's, "Very real."

Balthier closed his eyes, "What am I going to do, Basch?"

Basch let his lips brush against Balthier's before he thought about it. Suddenly realizing what he'd done, he started to pull away, but Balthier pulled him back and kissed him harder.

"I think I would remember if we'd done that before," chuckled Balthier, "So I'm assuming that's a first for us."

Basch nodded, "It's a first."

"Will you stay here tonight?"

Basch shrugged, "I guess I could."

Balthier smiled, but it soon faded as he began to shake and sweat. His eyes rolled back into his head as he slid from his chair, and Basch had to move quickly to catch him before he hit the floor.

"Balthier!"

Balthier began to speak once again in the strange language he'd used earlier, "Μάτια… που όλβου έκ όπως έκα μαχαήρ…"

"Balthier? What is it?" pleaded Basch, "What's happening to you?"

Balthier continued to shake, and Basch picked him up and laid him on the bed. The pirate's eyes were wide, but he didn't seem to see Basch's concerned face leaning over him. Basch pulled him into an embrace; he wasn't sure what else he could do. Balthier curled into his chest. He didn't answer Basch when the older man spoke to him, he only lay there shaking and occasionally muttering something that Basch couldn't understand.

He hadn't realized that the pirate had fallen asleep until a gentle knock sounded at the door, and Fran entered.

She looked skeptically at him holding Balthier so close, but didn't say anything about it, "He is alright?" she asked, her arms folded across her chest.

Basch sighed, "I'm not sure. Something is…wrong."

"He still doesn't remember anything?"

He shook his head, "No, still nothing. He…passed out somewhat too."

She looked down at the pirate sadly, and sat down on the bed beside them, "Why does he cling to you?"

Basch shrugged, "I don't know."

She ran her slender fingers along Balthier's cheek, "I hope he doesn't remember."

Basch couldn't hide his shock, "What do you mean you hope he doesn't remember?"

"If he searches for his past," she warned, "He will not like what he finds."

Basch was angry now, "You know more than you told him don't you? You lied to him, knowing how desperate he was for the truth."

She cocked her head to one side, "I know Balthier much better than you Captain. I know of memories he wanted to forget, and now that he has it isn't fair to make him remember."

"That should be up to him!"

She stood up to leave, but Basch grabbed her arm, "You HAVE to tell him what you know Fran, it isn't fair."

She glared at him, "Tell him his name is Ffamran. That is all the information I will be responsible for. You do not know what you ask me to do in telling this."

Basch shook his head, "I thought you were his friend."

"All I am trying to do is protect him!"

Basch released her arm, "Still, you lied to him."

"And why is it that you are suddenly the guardian of Balthier's interests? Since when are you and he so close?"

Basch didn't have an answer.

Fran left the room without another word, and Basch instinctively pulled Balthier in closer, "Who is Ffamran?" he whispered, "And what could be so bad that you don't need to know who you are?"

He remembered the scars that Balthier had pointed out to him earlier, and wondered if Fran weren't right. Maybe he was better off not knowing.

Balthier kept his eyes squeezed shut against Basch's chest, but the name that Fran had uttered had sparked a panic in the back of his mind. He knew that name…but he wasn't sure why.

_To Be Continued…_

**Once again, I know its slow paced, but hey…all good things come to those who wait. Please review.**


	5. Lost Without You

**Welcome back my freaky little darlings! Can't believe we are already on chapter 5 of this little fic! I hope you are enjoying, and please review because it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and plus it makes me update faster. Enjoy.**

**The Shattering**

**Chapter 5: Lost Without You**

Basch wasn't sure how he'd found himself sleeping curled up next to Balthier, but when he awoke to the pirate's soft moans it was pitch black outside. It took him a minute to realize exactly where he was, and whose face was pressed into his chest. He had only just remembered the events of earlier when the pirate beside him whimpered in his sleep.

"Balthier…" he whispered, shaking him gently, "Balthier wake up, it's only a dream."

The pirate's eyes flew open with a start, and he moved quickly away from Basch, as if he thought the knight was going to hurt him.

"You were having a bad dream," Basch offered, putting his hand on Balthier's arm.

Balthier let out a deep breath, "It was horrible."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Balthier shook his head, "No, not really."

Basch pulled him back into his arms. What a strange turn of events, he thought. He'd never given Balthier much thought before, but now here he was holding him closer than he'd ever held anyone in his life.

"Basch?"

The tone of Balthier's voice made him relax his grip a little, "What is it?"

"Did I have feelings for you?"

Basch tensed, "Not that I know of. Why? Do you now?"

Balthier looked up at him, "I don't know. I…I just know I only feel safe when you're around."

Basch smiled, "You are safe as long as I'm around."

"Basch?"

"Hmm?"

"That name…the one Fran called me…it brings a bad feeling in my stomach," Balthier said.

Basch kissed the top of the pirate's head gently, "We'll figure it out later. Go back to sleep."

The truth was that the name Ffamran brought a similar feeling to the pit of Basch's stomach, and he felt that no good would come from it.

* * *

><p>Vaan had been picking up bits and pieces of what he called "essential sky pirate knowledge" ever since he'd met Balthier. Whether it was flying, airship maintenance or even flirting…if he saw Balthier do it…he stored the information away for further use. To him, the pirate had been everything he wanted to be…but the new Balthier…well…the new Balthier Vaan was a little disappointed with. However, the pirate still seemed to know everything there was to know about airships, so Vaan happily followed along when Balthier went to work on one of the engines.<p>

"Hand me a screwdriver."

Vaan obeyed, and handed Balthier a grease covered screwdriver.

The tool slipped through the pirate's ringed fingers and hit the metal floor with a clank, "Fucking shit!" grumbled Balthier angrily, but his expression quickly softened, "I'm sorry Vaan…that was rude of me."

Vaan stared at the pirate dumbly, "Will you stop apologizing for EVERYTHING! Gods! You're a sky pirate for Shemhazai's sake! Act like one!"

Balthier was taken aback, "I don't understand."

Vaan sighed angrily, "You've changed. A lot. It's like you're not even the same person."

Balthier glanced at the floor, "I'm sorry."

"See! There you go again! What the hell is wrong with you! What happened to you!"

Balthier rose to his feet angrily and sent his fist flying into a nearby wall, "I don't know ok! I don't know what happened to me! I don't know how I used to act! For fuck's sake Vaan, I don't know WHO I AM!"

Vaan stared up at the pirate in shock, "You're…you're bleeding."

Balthier glanced down at his hand, which was bleeding rather badly. He stared at it for a moment before his face twisted in anger, and he began to smash his broken hand into the wall repeatedly. Vaan didn't know anything to do but run for Basch.

* * *

><p>The panic that had shown in Vaan's eyes was nothing compared to the panic that rose in Basch's chest as he ran down the cramped corridor of the Strahl to the engine room.<p>

"Balthier!" he called out, but got no answer. And then he saw him.

Balthier had pressed himself into a tight corner, his knees drawn up under his chin. He was shaking slightly, and Basch was unsure whether it was from fear or from anger. He was also…crying. Basch's breath caught in his throat. He was prepared to see Balthier cry, it was too much.

"Balthier," he said gently, "Balthier come here."

The pirate seemed not to have heard him.

"Balthier please," Basch pressed, "I can't reach you there. Come here."

Balthier shook his head.

Basch inched as close to him as he could, and he could just reach him enough to stroke his cheek with a calloused finger, "It's ok Balthier. I'm here."

Balthier flinched away at his touch, but his eyes snapped up to meet Basch's, "Basch…" he whimpered, sending another wave of tears down his cheeks.

Basch sighed, "Come here."

This time Balthier obeyed and Basch pulled him into a warm embrace, "What's wrong Balthier?"

"I can't remember anything," whimpered the pirate, "I have no idea who I am, and everyone keeps telling me how I've changed. I keep being compared to this other person that I've never met, and I don't know what to do."

Basch tightened his grip, "It doesn't matter what you were like before Balthier. All that matters is that you came back, that you're here now."

"But I'm not the same," whispered Balthier looking up to meet Basch's eyes.

Basch smiled softly and brushed a bit of the pirate's hair away from his face, "I love you just the way you are."

Balthier was surprised, "You…what?"

Basch let his lips brush against the pirate's, "You heard me," he whispered.

Balthier leaned in and kissed him harder. Basch's hands slid from the pirate's face to the buttons on his shirt. As his hands made short work of Balthier's buttons the pirate's own hands were far from idle as he gripped Basch's muscled arm with his left as his right found itself tangled in his golden hair.

With one fluid movement Basch had Balthier lying shirtless on the cold metal floor, his own shirtless body hovering protectively over him. He trailed a line of quick kisses down Balthier's neck before gently grabbing his broken hand. He kissed it gently before muttering a quick cure spell and moving back to Balthier's slightly open lips.

He let his tongue trace the outline of the pirate's lips before letting his own lips crash into them, and Balthier moaned, fidgeting slightly beneath him.

"I love you," he breathed heavily into his ear, and he felt Balthier's body under him react to the words. He smiled, and chuckled softly; loving the effect he was having on the other. Balthier's breath shuddered as he reached the clasp of his pants, but Basch kept him preoccupied with a deep kiss until he felt his leather pants slip completely off.

"Have you ever done this before?" Basch asked as he pulled away from him, struggling with the clasp to his own pants.

Balthier gulped, "I…I don't remember."

Basch smiled, "Just relax then," he whispered.

He pushed into him slowly, and Basch could tell he was not the first to have had him. Pushing back the wave of jealously that rose in his chest he quickened his pace. Balthier moaned quietly underneath him, and he quickly put a hand over the pirate's mouth. He couldn't handle hearing Balthier's moans, it was just too much for him. He replaced his hand with his mouth, wrapping his arms around the pirate and pulling him up into his lap. He gripped Balthier's hips tightly, guiding his movements until they both could take it no longer. Balthier hit his climax only seconds before Basch's own hit, and he collapsed onto the older man's shoulder.

"I love you," Balthier breathed heavily.

Basch kissed him fiercely, and Balthier could taste a mixture of both their sweat on his lips. He might not know who he was, but he knew that without Basch…he was lost.

_To Be Continued…_

**I hope you enjoyed. There's ya some rated M content there ;) which I thoroughly enjoyed writing. Please review and please stay tuned for chapter 6.**


	6. A Time to Remember

**Welcome back my freaky little darlings. I didn't have to work today, so hopefully I'll put out some good updates. Little note: I am about to start a self-insert story and would like others to be in it as well. If you'd like a part in the story please message me your name, age, sex, and physical description along with anything else you think would be important. Please enjoy, and review!**

**The Shattering**

**Chapter 6: A Time to Remember**

The hunt Vaan had dragged them all along on had gone considerably well, and everyone aboard the Strahl was in high spirits. They would make a lot of gil from this hunt, which couldn't have come at a better time, since they were very nearly broke. Not to mention the fact that they hadn't had to deal with a single injury during the battle, which rarely happened. The six of them sat in the kitchen of the Strahl, plates heaped high with a rich smelling pasta that Penelo had made earlier, drinking large quantities of madhu as they joked and laughed.

Fran had been strangely quiet for the past few days, and Balthier was glad that toady she seemed happy. He couldn't quite help feeling that whatever it was that had been upsetting her was his fault, but he didn't really know what to do about it. Basch had told him that he and the viera had been extremely close, and he was starting to wonder if he had had some sort of romantic relationship with her…perhaps she was upset because she was jealous. He looked over at her, she was beautiful yes, but he couldn't imagine having the feelings for her that he was starting to feel for the blonde knight who sat at the opposite end of the table.

Forcing his thoughts away, he laughed with the others at Vaan's jokes, unconsciously plucking a pepper from a bowl and biting off the end. He had just barely swallowed it when Fran shouted.

"No Balthier!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked from the viera to the pirate. Balthier stared at her blankly, pepper still in hand.

"You are allergic to desert peppers," the viera said flatly as the others stared at her. There was a twinge of fear in her voice.

He sat there a moment, looking from her to the pepper…and that's when he felt it. He could feel his throat swelling shut, and his body began to pour sweat…his lungs feeling as if they were on fire. The pepper fell from his hand, and Basch was out of his chair and by the pirate's side in a flash. He reached him just in time to catch his limp body as he fell from his chair.

"Why didn't you tell me he was allergic to them?" Penelo yelled at Fran, "If I'd known that I wouldn't have put them out on the table!"

Fran shook her head, "Balthier knew he couldn't eat them…I…it is hard to remember that he has forgotten such basic things. I would have never had to warn him before."

Basch cursed under his breath as he held the shaking pirate, "You knew that he doesn't remember anything! Why would you expect him to remember that?"

Fran didn't say anything.

"Is he alright?" asked Penelo fearfully, "I…I feel just terrible."

"You didn't know Pen," said Vaan reassuringly, "It isn't your fault."

"It isn't anyone's fault," corrected Ashe, "Basch? Is he ok?"

Basch checked the pirate's pulse, "He's not breathing…Goddamnit he's not breathing!"

He pried Balthier's mouth open in a panic and put his mouth to his in order to administer CPR.

"Breathe Goddamnit!" he cursed as he pounded on the pirate's chest, "Please breathe Balthier!"

Fran knelt on the other side of the limp, unconscious pirate, "His throat has closed up, and he cannot get any air. We will have to give him a tracheotomy."

Basch squeezed his eyes shut, and Fran laid a gentle hand on his arm, "Do you want me to do it?" she asked.

He nodded; he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

_Balthier felt a sharp pain in his throat, but he couldn't quite move. He couldn't see anything, but he could hear a voice in the distance._

"_Ffamran!"_

_The voice was hauntingly familiar, but he couldn't place it._

"_Ffamran!"_

_He opened his eyes, but still couldn't see anything but darkness._

"_I think it's just an allergic reaction," said a different voice, "Nothing to be alarmed about. We'll run some tests."_

_Balthier heard the first voice grunt in annoyance, "An allergic reaction? That's all?"_

"_A severe one," said the second voice, "but an allergic reaction none the less."_

"_He has embarrassed me in front of my guests," the first voice grumbled._

_Another voice cut in quickly, a woman's voice, and she sounded upset, "He couldn't have known Cid. It isn't like he did it on purpose."_

"_When I want your opinion woman," sneered the first voice (which Balthier now assumed to be this 'Cid' person), "I'll ask for it!"_

"_He's your son, Cid!" the woman cried, "Have some pity, he might have died!"_

"_When I finish with him," growled Cid, "He'll wish he had."_

Balthier's mind reeled as the half memory took a turn he wished it hadn't. He awoke with a start to find himself in his bed aboard the Strahl. He started to sit up when a strong hand kept him from rising.

"Just lie still Balthier;" Basch said soothingly, "You're going to be alright."

Balthier tried to speak, but the pain in his throat wouldn't allow it. He put a ringed hand to it, only to have Basch grab it and not let go.

"Don't touch it," warned Basch.

"What happened?" Balthier whispered through the pain.

"You ate something you were allergic to. You stopped breathing."

"My father's name is Cid," Balthier whispered.

Basch was taken aback, "You…you remembered something?"

Balthier's brow knitted together in pain, "Yes."

Basch didn't know what to say. Balthier looked far from happy about whatever it was he remembered, "Well…it's a start," he offered, "I told you it would all come back eventually."

A tear ran down the pirate's cheek, "I don't want to remember…I don't want to know anymore."

_To Be Continued…_

**Hope you enjoyed! Review to earn updates and remember, if you'd like a part in my next fic private message me your info!**


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